Well, here it is another week already, and the time has come to thrill and educate you, my dedicated readers with more of my wit and wisdom. Fat chance on that, but I can babble on for a few dozen column inches, and hope that you keep up. So here goes another week of the idiot's diaries...
WE HAVE A NEW WINNER ...
Imagine my pure excitement when I heard that Paris Hilton was releasing a new disc of her singing. As you can only imagine, I dashed over to my keyboard and dialed up the old itunes to get a listen at what that sweet and innocent Paris had to say, or sing, as it was. Luckily, I only previewed it, instead of paying for the whole thing. My conclusion? We have a new winner in the worst song in the history of music! Yes, Paris Hilton has taken the art form of putting out a large piece of smelly garbage on a little silver disc to a whole new level. The two previous winners, or losers, were Black Eyed Peas 'My Humps' and Nelly Furtado's (with help. If you want to call it that, from Timbaland) ode to STDs, 'Promiscuous.' Well, Paris's new song is called 'Stars are Blind,' and is also the name of the disc. Well, hopefully stars are deaf, too, otherwise she may get bonked on the head by a few stars falling out of the sky because they were killed by her awful warbling. My advice to Paris (and we know she reads my column every week!) would be to not quit your day job. Oh yeah, she is a spoiled rich brat with no day job! I think she should keep doing what she is best at, and that would be making bad movies, and I'm not talking about the remake of House of Wax, which was pretty awful. What really worries me is that she will become a cultural phenom, and girls everywhere will start acting dumb, carrying around little bejeweled dogs and have no goals or ambitions for their lives. What, it's too late? God (where are you Joey Ramone!) help us...
IT'S ONLY ROCK AND ROLL BUT I LIKE IT
So it was a pretty busy couple days for me, with a couple of trips to the Cleveland Rock City for shows. Monday we trekked up to catch Taking Back Sunday with special guests Angels and Airwaves at the pee-dee Pavilion. Angels and Airwaves put on a good show, with the crowd getting fired up to hear the return of Blink 182's Tom Delonge to the stage. If you were a fan of Blink, you were all over the set. The new stuff sounds pretty much like old Blink, with maybe a little bit of a poppier edge to it. Not gonna use the sell-out word, but it definitely has a softer edge to it than his older stuff, maybe a bit more emo than punk. He tends to talk too much though, and it's mostly about nothing of any substance. Like I said, the pro-Blink crowd liked what they saw, especially when he showed up amongst them to sing an old song from their catalog. Taking Back Sunday headlined the show, and it was my first time seeing them since a Warped Tour show a few years ago. They have definitely changed since then, and for the better. New additions Adam Lazzara on vocals and Fred Mascherino have made Ed Reyes and the band less 'screamo' and more rock. Once again, I don't want to use the s.o. word, because this isn't a case of a band selling out, but rather just getting better at its craft. While a few of the Blink kids left before TBS came on, a pretty full house stayed to see a scorching great show. The set went a bit over an hour and the high octane energy never let up. Whether it was Lazzara doing Roger Daltrey-esque microphone swinging to Reyes' stalking the stage while kicking out blistering guitar licks, the band hit on all cylinders throughout, and the fans roared their approval.
Afterward we went backstage to hang with the large contingent of Sanduskians and the bands. While the Angels crew was scarce, Ed held court to a good 20-plus friends and family. I got a couple of seconds with him and a guarantee for a future interview with he and his wife on life on and off the road. Stay tuned later in the summer/fall for details.
The very next night saw us back in Cleveland, this time at the big tent upstream called Tower City Amphitheater. We were heading up, and back in time for a night of red rocker style entertainment with Sammy Hagar. As soon as we walked in the backstage gate we were stopped in our tracks by none other than Sammy himself, chatting it up in a meet and greet with fans. My lovely wife, who is not easily phased by the whole rock star celebrity thing, was in total shock and awe. I had to physically restrain her, as she kept mumbling something about how she wanted to rape and pillage him. Luckily Sammy walked by us with a wave and a smile, and I didn't have any more problems with my troublesome wife the rest of the night. The amphitheater was all decked out to resemble a carnival at Sammy's bar in Cabo Wabo, Mexico, with games, food and drink stands, and even heavy metal karaoke, which we sadly were too late to see/partake in. I met up with Al, a friend from the screen shop and his wife (hey Al, you made the paper, and it wasn't the police blotter!) and proceeded to indulge in the greatest of all sports, people watching! And it was prime watching, indeed! The strange part of the show was the fact that I wasn't the oldest guy in attendance, rather I may have been in the youngest ten percentile. Mullets were the rule, for those who had hair still, and that worked for both guys and girls.
Oh, and a concert also happened that night there, too. Sammy took the stage, along with about 50 or 60 hard partying lucky fans who became back up singers for the show around 8 p.m. He opened with 'Mas Tequilla,' which seemed like a rather large scale commercial for his own brand of tequila that was conveniently sold in a giant tent at the back of the amphitheater. The remainder of his set had some old red rocker classics, like 'One Way to Rock,' 'Fall in Love Again,' and of course 'I Can't Drive 55.' But it was the songs between that made me remember why I have gotten so into the punk seen, as a guy can only take so many guitar solos (did every song have one or was it just me?). All in all it was a decent first set, it could've been better without the aforementioned solos and the covers, though the Bob Dylan cover gave the song a whole new vibe to it. That was just the beginning though, and after a 15-minute break, ex Van Halen bandmate, Michael Anthony strolled out to the stage and went into a 5 minute bass solo. Yes, I did just complain about too many solos, but this one wasn't bad, and you could just feel it was going to lead into the very first song on the very first Van Halen album, 'Running with the Devil.' The solo did lead into the song, and the biggest surprise of the night was Anthony doing lead vocals on it. He never got the credit he deserved on VH records or live shows for his backing vocals, which were part of the reason the band was so different and ground breaking throughout the late 70s and 80s. It was nice to hear some of the old VH songs, and the crowd showed their appreciation by roaring along and dancing in the aisles (I will leave that all up to your imagination). A few songs fell a little flat without Eddie Van Halen on guitar, especially 'Right Now,' where the imitation Eddie guitarist tried to sub the piano parts with his guitar and effects. It was the most painful moment of the Other Half's set (the name of the band after they came back out in the second set with Michael Anthony was the Other Half). If the show had only been Sammy doing his own stuff, and pimping his tequila (Cabo Tequila, now available at a liquor store near you!), it would have been a let down of a show, but the hour of Van Halen songs made the drive worth it.
THE CRYSTAL BALL SEES...
This week should also be a busy one for Cleveland area shows, running the gamut from hard and heavy metal to fun filled ska flavorings. First, on Saturday the 15th, Rob Zombie will bring his shock rock metal to the stage at Tower City. That should be an even better people watching night than Sammy Hagar. Bring your crucifixes and holy water to ward off any evil creatures. The same night will bring the return of 90s alt-rockers Candlebox to the House of Blues. I'll probably end up there, as it will be a night to hang out with some soon-to-be new friends in Candlebox, hopefully sell a couple posters, and also catch up with oft mentioned in this column, Farmer John. Should be an interesting evening, and who knows, I may make it over to TCA to watch the freakshow there for a little while. The next night, you can definitely count on me being at the Agora to see Gainesville ska veterans (Gainesville, home of my buddies in Less than Jake), the Know How. Also playing that night, a band with one of the funniest names I can remember, the Ska-ker Moms (you know, like soccer moms!). They are a good up and coming Cleveland area ska band, and along with the Know How, it should be an energetic night filled with fun, dancing and killer music.
So that is about it for me, and I didn't even throw a zinger at any republicans! With gas at three bucks a gallon, it would just be piling on. So, everybody be safe this week, come back and read me next week when I may or may not regale you with tales of rock and roll excess, make fun of other genres of music I don't like, pick on the G.O.P., and babble on like Ann Coulter at a moron convention. Woo-hoo, good stuff coming down the pike, kiddies! So, until next week, keep it legal, fight the good fight and keep rockin!
Want more of Sean? What, this novel wasn't enough? Then e-mail him at scarroll@funcoast.com.
