Looking ahead, looking back and just looking
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Glancing into the future ...
They've named my replacement. Well, it's actually replace-ments.
I'm so good at my job, they need two people to fill my position (the over/under on the number of times I've used that joke in the last week is 37).
Starting next week, Laura Barrett is the assistant Funcoast.com editor and Sam Amico is the main man. Both Laura and Sam work at the Register now, just in different positions.
I have a lot of favorite people in this town, but these two are definitely on the list.
Laura is one of the nicer people you'll ever meet (I phrase it that way because I want all of you to meet her at some point ... we'll work out the details later).
In addition to being good at her job, she's funny, friendly and always enjoyable to be around.
She's hosting my going-away party Saturday and (she doesn't know this part yet) is in charge of making sure I get home safely. I certainly can't trust myself with those duties.
As for Sam, he's not quite as nice as Laura, but I'd say he's adequately nice. And he's more than adequately talented. (Just ask the three girls he's been dating - none of whom know about the others).
On the downside, he is a bit of a bum. He's been crashing in my guest room about once or twice a week the last few months while he worked part-time in Sandusky and part-time in Akron.
But there is a positive side to all of this. He's spent so many nights in my humble abode (he calls it "life training") that he's truly ready to follow in my footsteps.
I am 100 percent sure these two will do great things with Funcoast.com - far better than I ever did.
I hope you enjoy their product as much as I will.
A little about the past ...
I considered trying to write a really good, serious, meaningful column this week, since it is my final "Powell Time."
I ran into two problems.
First, I know I don't have many loyal readers, but I have a few. I didn't want to disappoint them by changing my style now.
That'd be like if you went to a concert of some really crappy band you liked and instead of playing their really crappy songs, they covered a bunch of Beatles tunes. Wouldn't you be upset?
The second (and perhaps more important) problem I ran into is that I don't know how to write a serious column, let alone a good one.
So instead of changing my style, I'm going to embrace it.
Always happy to discuss the minutiae of my life, it's time for a quick rundown of what happened during the last few days of Powell Time.
Thursday - For lunch, I ate some bratwurst at Quizno's with a few friends. Excellent meal.
At night I played Edward 40-Hands with another friend. If you don't know that game, it's where you duct tape a 40-ounce beer to each of your hands, and you can't take off either 40 until you finish both of them.
It's not really a race, but my friend did finish faster than I did. She was quite impressive. So, for the record, I'm not the best drinker in Sandusky - not even close.
My liver hasn't spoken to me since the game ended. He's pretty upset.
Friday - The Plain Dealer sent me to Akron to cover a game, so I hung out with some friends who live in that area after my deadline.
One girl was with her boyfriend, who I just met that night. He was in the national guard, shipping off to Afghanistan the next day.
Scary stuff. I have a lot of respect for him, as I do for all the troops (generic comment, I know, but it's true).
Saturday - I had some people over to watch Auburn upset Florida, the Buckeyes dominate yet another opponent and Kelly Pavlik whoop up on Jermain Taylor.
Pavlik is my new hero. He got creamed in the second round and looked about ready to pass out. Then he stumbled around for a minute, just trying to avoid any more punches until the bell rang.
In between rounds he got some water in his face, shook off the cobwebs and came out like a champion, getting a knockout in the seventh round to remain undefeated and take the middleweight belt away from Taylor.
If anyone ever punches me as hard as Pavlik was punched in round two, I would be on the ground, curled up in the fetal position, sucking my thumb and crying.
So, please don't ever punch me that hard.
Oh yeah, also on Saturday I bought a condo in Mentor. But that's not fun to talk about.
Sunday - I had free tickets to sit in the front row at the Browns game. Front row. It was incredible.
And before the game we got free beer at The Blind Pig bar on West 6th because of some special connections.
Free beer, free front-row Browns tickets - Sunday really is the day of the Lord.
At the game, one of my friends got a ticket from a cop for calling a guy in a Ravens jersey an a**hole.
People were swearing at Ravens fans and being rude all over the place, yet my friend says one fairly innocent comment and gets reprimanded by a cop?
That's ridiculous. The Browns organization should be ashamed of itself.
Thankfully, the team played a lot better than its police officers policed. Who expected that?
Enjoy your spot on the sidelines, Brady. You could be there a while.
And now for the present ...
As I'm sitting here, typing these final sentences, I am getting a little sad.
I know I don't really have much of a relationship with any of my readers, but it's still nice to get e-mails and comments from random people on the street, asking me about bratwurst, kickball, chocolate pudding nipples or anything else I've written about.
It's not fun leaving that behind, but I think my time has come.
Whether I truly am connected or not, I feel connected to the community, and I've met a lot of great people here. Thanks for making my three years in Sandusky so enjoyable.
You all should start subscribing to the New York Times in about six or seven years. That's about the time the paper is going to start running "Powell Time" every Wednesday, according to my career plan.
Who knows, in a few years maybe an older, healthier me will spend all my time talking about jogging and carrots instead of beer and bratwurst.
But I kind of doubt it.
POWELL'S PICKS
WATCH THE MLB PLAYOFFS, beginning Oct. 3 on TBS.
I'll make you a deal - I'll agree to root for the Indians if you agree to root for the Cubs. I would honestly sell my left eyebrow to the highest bidder if you could guarantee the Cubbies won the World Series. Anyone want an extra left eyebrow? Only respond if you have magic powers and can control sporting events using your mind.
CHECK OUT THE DISCO PIMPS, 10 p.m., Oct. 5 at Cabana Jacks.
If I had a nickel for every time someone called me a disco pimp, I don't think I'd have to move to my new job.
GO TO THE CIVIL WAR ENCAMPMENT, Oct. 6 or 7 at Spiegel Grove in Fremont.
SPOILER ALERT ***** The Union wins the war.
BUY SOME CDS FROM MY FAVORITE ARTISTS, such as Regina Spektor, Damien Rice and Arcade Fire (all of whom are mentioned in my review of Spektor's show on page 13).
And if you're willing to drive a little ...
HEAD TO THE MAROON 5 SHOW, 8 p.m., Oct. 5 at Quicken Loans Arena.
I think maroon is kind of an ugly color, and I've never really liked the number five, but when you put them together, it just works for some reason.
This is your last chance, folks. E-mail me at editor@funcoast.com. I'd love to hear from you. Literally, I have nothing better to do.
