Peyton likes Wheat Thins? I wish we knew
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I feel like a sponge.
I absorbed so much football last weekend, I'm dripping with sweat. I need to be wrung out sometime in the middle of this week so I can suck up more starting Friday night (Hudson at Strongsville - join me there).
Our primary Funcoast.com writer, John Benson, spent the weekend in Las Vegas to watch the games in style, but he didn't invite me along with him (he actually did, but he didn't offer to pay my way), so I was here in Sandusky. I spent some time at Buffalo Wild Wings, some time at Cabana Jacks, a little time at Pub and Grub, and a little time at my house.
Football is exciting as it is - that's a given. But I've come up with a fun way to make it even more interesting. Instead of putting players' names on the back of their jerseys, we should put their answers to some sort of themed question on there. You'd have a different question every week.
For instance, one week it could be: What's your favorite food?
And Peyton Manning's jersey would have the obligatory No. 18 on the back, above which it would say "Lobster" or "Lasagna" or "Wheat Thins."
Fans would learn something about their favorite players, and it would give us all even more reasons to watch.Other fun questions of the week could be:
A) Favorite author
B) Favorite vacation spot
C) Actor you think would best portray George Washington in a movie
D) Celebrity you'd most like to be stranded on a desert island with
It could even lead to fun pranks, like telling the rookie lineman the theme of the week is the George Washington question when it's actually the island question. So when everyone else comes out with Angelina Jolie or Halle Berry on the back of their jerseys, he'll come out with Richard Gere on his. He'd be quite embarrassed.
I'll mail a copy of this column to the league office, so if a change is made midseason and you see Brady Quinn starting for the Browns with the word "Bust" on the back of his jersey, you'll know the question that week is:
Describe yourself using just one word.
Sorry, Browns fans. Charlie Frye didn't work out, and Derek Anderson isn't great either, but there's no way I'm rooting for Quinn. I met him several times when I was working near South Bend, Ind., covering the Irish football team - he was a jerk then, and I've heard from people who know him better than I ever did that he's still a jerk.
As for making NFL games more fun to attend in person, here's my suggestion - start serving elephant ears at the concession stands. Those things are such a huge hit at fairs and amusement parks, why would they think football fans are a different crowd?
I had an elephant ear Saturday during a brief visit to Cedar Point, and it was amazing. The rides there always are fun, but my favorite part of the day was eating that elephant ear, followed closely by beating my friend in four straight games of Skee-Ball.
We put some friendly bets on the games, and I won them all. No money exchanged hands, but he had to text some of our mutual male friends messages that said "I want to lick you" and "If one of us was lucky enough to be a lady, we'd get it on." And he couldn't tell them it was for a bet.
The most disconcerting part of the whole story is, after he sent those texts, no one responded back asking what his problem was. It led me to believe he might be sending those kinds of texts a little more often than I'm aware of ...
Speaking of text messages, I am now firmly entrenched in a group of friends that loves to text. I am not a huge texter, but when your friends are doing it, there's really no way to avoid it.
When I've had a lot to say in response to a text, I've occasionally made a call to discuss things, but that's gotten me in trouble.
People have said, "Why can't you just text me back like I texted you?" (with that undertone of, "you're so annoying.")
I think some people are getting a little too into the text message craze. It's nice to be able to get messages over with quickly and send them without interrupting whatever you're doing, but any text conversation that lasts more than two messages per person should immediately be settled over the phone.
Those are good rules to live by.
Texting really is best utilized for making people feel awkward after a lost bet. If we sent only those kinds of text messages and left the real conversations to be had using different communication methods, I think the world would be a better place.
POWELL'S PICKS
HEAD OVER TO HALLOWEEKENDS, Fridays-Sundays starting this weekend at Cedar Point.
I went once last year and can verify they still sell elephant ears during HalloWeekends. I'm not positive about Skee-Ball, but I'm willing to bet it's still open, too.
GO TO NEW YEAR'S ON PUT-IN-BAY, 6-11 p.m., Sept. 15 in downtown Put-in-Bay.
It's fun to celebrate holidays before they actually take place. I want Thanksgiving to take place every Wednesday. Turkey is really good.
CHECK OUT THE NORTH AMERICAN IN-WATER BOAT SHOW, Sept. 12-16 at the Cedar Point Marina (hours vary).
When I get rich and famous, I'm going to buy a boat just as soon as I have a Skee-Ball lane installed in my mansion. (Is it called a Skee-Ball lane, or alley, or something else altogether? I think it could go a lot of different directions).
GO TO BLOCKBUSTER AND BUY SOME PREVIOUSLY-VIEWED MOVIES.
I bought three this week - "Casino Royale," "Zodiac" and "Little Children" - for a grand total of $20. Quite a deal. Plus, I'm hoping that by mentioning them in my column, Blockbuster will go easy on me. I still haven't returned "Reno 911" and "Alpha Dog" yet. I checked them out months ago.
And if you're willing to drive a little ...
BUY A TICKET FOR THE DROPKICK MURPHYS SHOW, Sept. 18 at the Agora Theatre in Cleveland.
Another good concert I'll be going to. Anything with bagpipes makes me happy. It makes me think of the dad in "So I Married an Axe Murderer."
E-mail me at editor@funcoast.com. But if you say anything about wanting to lick me or wishing one of us was a lady so we could get it on, I probably won't respond.
