Sandusky is starting to percolate
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People told me this place starts jumpin' in the summer, but I didn't really know what they were talking about until last weekend.
Things are starting to percolate around here. It's getting crazy.
I hate it when my column is just all about what I do on a daily basis, but I can't avoid it this week. There are just too many stories to tell.
To make up for it, I'll put a "lesson of the day" at the end of every daily entry. Those lessons will apply to everyone, so you all have to read for that reason alone.
Thursday - Where's my walleye?
I agreed to fill in for a friend as a guest judge at this competition at the Walleye Festival in Port Clinton. I was under the impression it was Walleye Tasting Competition beginning at 4 p.m.
I didn't eat any food all day because I was so excited about eating that much free food.
So I showed up at 3:30 p.m. with a smile on my face, ready to eat.
I was then informed that there was no Walleye Tasting Competition. Instead, I had agreed to the be the judge for a beauty pageant. Actually, four kids beauty pageants - one starting every hour (on the hour) from 4-7 p.m. And there was no food in sight.
My stomach was not in a good mood.
Actually, though, it turned out to be a good time. I sat next to Jackie Mayer, the Miss America winner from 1963, and she was real cool. I also met several other really cool people.
Afterward, when I was completely starving and about ready to pass out, I got a free meal at The Garden restaurant in Port Clinton.
I ordered a steak covered in clams and clam sauce. It was one of the best meals I've had in years. The sauce was so good I didn't even use A-1. How weird is that?!?
Lesson of the day - Go to The Garden restaurant in Port Clinton. Order the steak. Tell Jay and Brenda I said hello. They own the place. They were nice.
Friday - Towel, please
I hit up the 9 p.m. Goodtimes cruise to Kelleys Island with a large group of people. On the way over, someone puked all over my left arm.
He was standing near me on the dance floor, and he just puked all over the place - no effort to get to the side of the boat or a trash can or anything.
My arm was covered pretty good, and my friend had it all over her pants, and then my other friend got the worst of it - it went all over her bare back.
I washed off what I could, and it didn't ruin the night. I still had some good times dancing. I showed off my "happy feet" at one point, and then later I broke up a girl-on-girl fight at the Casino Bar on Kelleys.
These were two girls I didn't know - one was lying on the ground pretty much motionless while the other girl was straddling her, punching her in the face.
People were just standing around watching, which seemed ridiculous to me. I put my beer down, busted in there, broke things up and then escorted the one girl outside. The bouncer thanked me later.
Why is there so much drama?
Lesson of the day - If you have to puke, try to move away from people before you do it.
Saturday - Hitting from deep
My friend in town had a nice house party. There was a beer pong table set up. The guy who was on my team was on fire - I'm talking Reggie-Miller-against-the-Knicks on fire. We didn't lose a single game all night (until the very last one, which neither of us remember too clearly).
It's good to win, but beer pong is not a game you really want to be that good at.
Winner stays, so we ended up playing far too many games and drinking more than intended.
We needed to pull a 1919 White Sox move and throw a game to give us some down time, but we're both too competitive to do that.
I think I ended up being somewhat annoying at the party, and for that I apologize. Blame the pong.
Lesson of the day - Feel free to practice some beer pong, but don't practice too much. You really don't want to be that good.
Sunday - Who needs the UFC?
I broke up my second fight in three days. This one happened just after closing time at Cabana Jacks. I hadn't had much to drink - these people all had.
This fight involved two men and one girl who was running around escalating things.
Again, people were just standing around and watching as these two guys got up in each other's faces and yelled - then the girl ran in and ripped one guy's T-shirt.
I don't really know why I get into the middle of any of this stuff, but I can't help it. I'm a lover, not a fighter. Me and John Lennon.
So I busted in and escorted one guy (a former Marine - he was much bigger than me) down the street. Eventually, one more guy came over to help me. That was a nice bonus.
This led me to the conclusion that I might want to become a bouncer someday. I could be the skinniest bartender on Earth. It would be a nice title to hold.
Also on Sunday, some guy came up to me and said he loved my columns and is forming a kickball team to play us. So that's nice.
He said he first started reading me a while ago and then he absolutely hated my guts. He said he planned on punching me if he ever saw me out at a bar. He said I was too arrogant. That made me sad.
But then he made me happy by saying he changed his mind after reading a few more of my columns. Like me, he's a big fan of bratwurst, Pabst Blue Ribbon and kickball. So we're all good now.
I hope there aren't other people out there who hate my guts and want to punch me. I'm really not arrogant. I'm just weird.
Lesson of the day- Don't fight. It doesn't accomplish anything. And if I'm around, you'll have to deal with my wrath.
Monday - Big Tymer
I went to the Damien Rice concert in Columbus. It was a great show - one of the best I've ever seen. He played for more than two hours and kept me interested the whole time.
But the show wasn't the highlight of the night. The highlight came when I was driving home from my friend's house at the end of the evening. I met an incredibly hot girl and got her number - all while driving.
I pulled up next to her at a stoplight. After looking over at me, she motioned for me to roll my window down. She said I was hot ("really hot," she actually said) and that she wanted my number.
I gave it to her, and she called right away and we talked for a few minutes. It was late and I was tired, so I just went home. But I'll be back in Columbus this weekend to cover those Perkins Pirates, so who knows ... And I'm not lying - she was gorgeous.
This stuff happens in commercials, but it's never happened to me before. It was exciting.
Lesson of the day - If you're an attractive girl driving around town and you see me in my red Mazda 6 and want my phone number, you can ask. It's acceptable behavior.
POWELL'S PICKS
CHECK OUT THE BUCKCHERRY SHOW, June 2 at the Erie County Fairgrounds. If members of this band got into a fight, I don't think I would break it up. They kind of scare me.
GO TO THE CITY-WIDE GARAGE SALE, 9 a.m.-2 p.m. June 2 at the Huron Boat Basin.Buy something. Make yourself happy. Then give it to someone. Make them happy.
WATCH OUR BATTLE OF THE BANDS, 5:30 p.m. June 1 at the Erie County Fairgrounds. We don't often host things, but when we do they're always exciting. Except for the last few things we've hosted.
BUY A SLURPEE AT 7-11, available all the time.I didn't give out a food award this week, so I felt the need to talk about food at least a little bit more before the column ended.
And if you're willing to drive a little ...
GO SUPPORT SOME LOCAL ATHLETES IN COLUMBUSPerkins plays in the state baseball tourney starting Friday morning, and a lot of track athletes are down there for the big meet. I'll be there, too, waiting for my free walleye and keeping an eye out for any disagreements. Actually, I'll just be working for the sports department.
E-mail me at editor@funcoast.com with your answer to this question - would you rather be friends with an elephant or a giraffe? And why?
